Seduction
One of the most valuable books I read on the topic of dating and relationships is Models. It states that the most important thing in any kind of relationship is honesty. In regards to seduction it is being honest with your intentions. The other important thing is being independent and focusing on developing yourself above all else. It's often the case that if the person feels required to be in a relationship, he/she will be at a disadvantage and will show weakness. Your feelings and self worth should never be defined by anyone but you. It is hard/impossible to be your true self if you are trying to impress anyone for fear of losing them. If the relationship or first encounter doesn't work out, don't dwell on it and move on.
Being honest with your intentions together with awareness that the worst cases that can happen will often have no affect on your life at the end of the day brings confidence. The hardest part in doing anything in life including approaching new people to spark a conversation with is the fear of being rejected or some feeling of failure. The worst case that can happen when trying to meet someone is that they will be busy or may simply not want to talk to you and all you will get is valuable experience. Rejection and failure is natural and how humans grow. No one truly cares about your rejection except yourself and that feeling of dwelling on the past is simply a waste of time. Take your learnings and move on. Be yourself and take the chances presented to you.
For first dates or encounters, I find it nice to get to know each other by asking few questions and getting to know them a little and then arranging to meet for a more prolonged time if all feels well. You will know a lot more about each other by talking in real life together over coffee or walk than anything else. For services like Tinder where you get to chat when both of you 'swiped on each other', it can be as simple as saying You are fun. Want to meet for coffee? ๐Ÿ˜Š after some time. Coffee and walks are often the best dates. The focus of the date should just be to get together, make sure you didn't misrepresent yourselves, connect a little, become comfortable in one another's company. Something that can be short if needed, but can be extended if things are going well.
Dating apps like Tinder/Bumble are often a waste of time. It's often best to approach people you find interesting in real life and asking questions be it for romantic or non romantic reasons. Don't be creepy and make sure the other person feels at ease and wants to talk with you. Try and diversify your life and get into more social hobbies where you get to meet new people often.

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Last modified 23d ago
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